Working Together

There are many different reasons for divorce, but a very common one is poor financing skills. Why would this be a hardship between a married couple? To be able to control spending too much money, there needs to be rules of how to use the money that was given to that family. A story that was told in our class was of a couple that early in their marriage. The wife assumed that the husband knew what he was doing with the earned money and never bothered to ask him about it. The husband, because he loved his wife, took her out to dinner often and bought her many things. After a while and a discussion of how he managed to do all of these things, they realized they were in deep debt. This couple was suffering because of a simple misunderstanding on how to take care of the money they had. There are many ways to avoid such a traumatic experience. One way to avoid this is to discuss the issue before the couple become husband and wife. By addressing this issue they can prepare before the act of putting their lives together. Another way to avoid this is to make a budget together as a couple and stick to it. By knowing how much spending money they have, they are able to know when to buy essential things and when they are able to buy not as important things. Through these two suggestions of how to take care of the money, we can see that in both example the couple is working together. Through that the couple can also grow in respect and love for each other as they work to make each other's life more pleasant.

Communicating

This week I have learned a couple things I found was pretty important. One is that I am not a very successful communicator and two is that it can be very difficult to do so. A few steps I felt were the most important in successful communication is not pointing fingers or attacking the person you are trying to communicate with, to not just compromise but to consensus, and to be understanding of the other's wants and needs as well. I am sure everyone has had those arguments that seem like they are going no where but in circles. I have been in plenty of those. The language that usually accompanies this sort of argument is something like, "You are so selfish!" or, "You never listen and are lazy!" First off, nobody wants to be told they are a terrible person even if it is true or not. When someone tells me things like that, I immediately become defensive and unwilling to solve anything with that person especially if they think that about me. I once was asking my sister advice on what to say when I bring up a touchy subject with some roommates. She taught me the idea of not having the person who is being discussed the problem to to be the bad guy. by doing this we could blame the problem on the situation rather than the person. We should also begin with our own feelings rather than just blaming the other of accusations. Language that would be in this sort of argument would be, "I feel stressed about the budget can we talk about it?" or "I felt like you were frustrated today, is there something bothering you?" She also pointed out that I could ask my roommate how we could fix the problem or make it more doable. By doing this we are trying find ways in which both of us are pleased with the final decision and both get what we want. Comparing consensus to compromising it like comparing a win-win situation to a lose-lose situation. When compromising each person gives up part of their dream to accommodate the other. Doing this, both people don't get what they want. When in consensus, both try to accomplish both person's dream best they can. Doing this I feel like provides respect for each other's wishes. It is also understanding the other's wants and needs. When each person is concentrated on the other's needs each will be met. This also provides the true love the Savior talks about when He talks about serving others. As we focus on other's needs and desires we will love them even more. Although doing these things, I learned, is not very easy it becomes easier over time and with help and practice. Doing this helps relationships become stronger and last forever in love.

Love is an open door!

Often times we base our first impressions of those that we meet on who that person is in that moment. Because of that impression we might frame everything that they do with that impression without considering a change. In a conversation we had in our class discussion one time, we talked about how we could come into someone's or a family's life when they are going through a hard time or even a good or successful time. One time in my life I met someone that I did not have that great of an impression of. I judged them from that time in their life when I really did not know that person. After I got to know them, I would hear of what they are going through or anything that was making them act the way they are acting. I learned that instead of judging so harshly at first, always give people a first positive impression. From that we can love that person already and can even be of assistance in their time of need. In the New Testament, Matthew 18: 21-22 Jesus tells Peter that we should forgive everybody not just seven times, but seventy times seven. Jesus is telling us to forgive everyone no matter what. I feel like that can apply to first impressions. We need to give the benefit of the doubt and not judge but love. Through that we can even forgive them easier if they hurt us in any way. If we love the person and had respect for them, we would not want to hurt them. We need to be understanding of everyone because we never know what they are going through in their life and what challenges God has given them to mold them into the person they can become.

Wove

In the Doctrine and Covenants chapter 42 verse 22 it explains what a relationship between a husband and wife should be like by saying, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." In that scripture, it gives us one of the key components to having a successful marriage. How would a couple stay together by cleaving unto one another? A relationship can be very delicate and sensitive. It needs nourishing and it needs dedication. In many cases as we studied this concept in our class, it was talked about setting boundaries. Boundaries may include avoiding being alone in a room with someone of the opposite sex that is not your spouse or not sharing personal aspirations and desires to someone that is not your spouse. Although these things seem harmless and not important, in all truth, it could be a destroying factor in a relationship. When one shared desires and aspirations, it brings those people closer together. I know even when I simply share desire and aspirations to my roommates I feel that we become closer as friends. Through that experience two people can feel close and intimate even if they are not married just through the sharing of these personal desires. To stay close to one another, avoid being being alone with the opposite sex and to strengthen your relationship by sharing desires and aspirations with your spouse.